My wife is German. Married to a german woman got married in the States and it was awesome. So awesome, in fact, I was inspired to write this blog post for the benefit of every American who has married — or is about to marry — a German person while in the United States of America. In fact, the wedding process will most likely be a totally smooth and completely awesome experience… with the exception of these 5 little details of which you should probably be aware before you bring your German over to the United States to get hitched:.
Until very recently, giving diamond engagement rings was a tradition largely ignored here in Germany. I have seen more and more jewelers carrying these sorts of rings as of late, but the vast majority tend to be unadorned bands.
Thick, depressing, German-as-hell wedding bands. Another thing about Germans and their wedding rings — many wear them on their right hands.
They wear them on their left hands during the engagement period, switch them to their right hands during the wedding ceremony and then keep them there for the rest of their Teutonic lives. I wear my wedding ring on my left hand, where it belongs, and so does my wife — we roll American style on this one.
Unfortunately, this means our rings often go unrecognized as symbols of marriage here in Germany. Have you ever seen a German guy hit on a woman? I, however, think it is a spectacularly bad idea to go nuts the night immediately before your wedding. Not all Polterabends occur the night before — some take place a week or two earlier — but you know all those videos of people passing out right at the altar? That happens Married to a german woman Polterabends. The Wife and I did not have a Polterabend, however, because most venues in the Unites States close at a reasonable hour.
Here, you can rent out a place and go ballistic until the sun comes up. Yes, we are Americans, and yes, we can party. Your German will drink, but will not get sloppy drunk — just the right amount of fuel to feed the machine.
He or she will take — or be featured prominently — in every single picture taken that night. He or she will dance, sing, eat ridiculously heavy foods, laugh Married to a german woman then dance some more… all while you have long since passed out.
Germans are cosmic partiers, you see.
Your German will be the sun in the solar system that is your wedding Married to a german woman, and its gravity will pull all celestial matter toward its center — including you, the wayward planet with the decaying orbit — where you will burn in its white-hot embrace for all eternity. Your German has forgotten more drinking songs than you will ever learn.
Germans know dozens of dances, and at your wedding reception, you will be expected to participate in every goddamn one of them. They look great in the pictures you will see later on, but right in the moment? This is the Autobahn, baby. Hold on tight and try not to look like a pussy. Unlike the United States, there is no legal limit of 0.
You may even lose your license forever. They intuitively know how stupid it is to drink and drive. This is Married to a german woman you may need to organize shuttles and taxis for your German wedding guests.
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And screw the American ones, right? Because they have the freedom to die in a fire of twisted metal and broken windshield glass if they so desire. It even says so in the Bill of Rights … probably.
So, unless you arrange for safe transportation to and from your wedding reception, some poor German is going to remain sober all night, and just one sober German alone is enough bring about a second Great Depression. Listen — you and me?
Married to a german woman Our weddings are traditionally extravagant. We get hitched using so much money either our parents pay for everything, or we go bankrupt attempting to handle the cost ourselves. Germans, however, are a practical bunch of squares, and we could really learn a lot from them about money. They use local churches, restaurants, hotels and the backyards of affluent relatives to get married.
That said, American wedding venues overcharge young couples just as hard as they can. So hard it should be illegal.
Now, before you attempt to describe the sorts of expenses involved in a typically lavish American wedding, email this infographic to your German and let it do the talking for you:. I hope you find these considerations helpful and encouraging.
Marrying a German Married to a german woman likely Married to a german woman be the very best decision you ever make in your life, and I congratulate you for having such excellent taste when you chose one to be your lifelong companion. Now please, as you are planning your wedding while attempting to work all day, run errands, do chores, get enough sleep, maintain a healthy relationship with your German and retain your sanity, remember it is all worth it in the end.
The organizing, the calls, the emails, the decisions and the expenses which go into American wedding planning will feel overwhelming at times. And unless you can afford a wedding planner, the stress will increase each day leading up to the wedding itself. But when that day is finally here, and things really get rolling?
Everything will fall right into place. Here are a bunch of photos from German weddings to help give you some ideas and let you know you are not alone. Please click one of the thumbnails to start the slideshow:.
Congratulations on scoring a wonderful German to be your spouse, and have a blast at the wedding! I never married my German, but, having spent a couple of years with him, your stories are sooooo right. I am the German wife of an American, and yes, there are bitter differences.
I had no idea when I was planning my German wedding back in Germany. I had no experiences at all, and I had no clue I would not have a wedding like everybody around me Married to a german woman. Turned out, Immigration determined the wedding day within 90 days of entryand that was already outside of the wedding season.
I should have calculated that when I filed for my Immigration, but I had not wasted one thought about that. I was busy gathering all needed papers and packing up my whole household and my cats to bring over. In the end, I entered in early January, and unfortunately that determined I had to be legally married by early April, unless I wanted to get deported. It is not true that we have no traditional engagement rings in Germany!
It is Married to a german woman same ring that will become the wedding ring later!
You will put your engagement ring on your LEFT hand, and on the wedding day during the ceremony you will put that same ring from the left hand to the right hand.
So when you are wearing your rings still on your left hands now, every German will think you are engaged.
It is that simple. You are obviously wearing engagement rings, because it sits on your left hand. I am legally married, but I had no wedding. I was personally offended by these American suggestions of venues where you are supposed to leave by 5pm, because the next party would come in for another 3 hours, or so. I would simply not so that. And we needed the money for a house to put down. No, I mean, we needed the money to buy a house and make a down payment on it.
And I have no wedding ring, because my husband found out they are not legally required. He is actually really proud about that, and how much money he saved. But I am resenting him for that. Yes, we live together, but we only look like a couple, we are really just very good friends. We are both unhappily in love with other people. That, in the end, brings us together again.